When Mr.Omnipotent Life Is Teased



“Yes, come on. Say it. Fuck!”

“No hell no you rude gurl.”

“Oh come the shit on hon. You’re feeling like a stinking little poop ball and you’ve been crying your eyes out for hours. Seriously I’ve never seen you this pathetic. Now I’m telling you how to feel better. Just say the hell out of it. Say it out loud. Come on.”

“No I’m breaking down but it doesn’t mean I have to curse! I don’t see any point in cursing like a machine and irritating people who have to hear such dirty words just because of my own problem.”

“Oh holy crap babe everyone understands. Everyone has a problem. Listen, hon. Life is not a strawberry pie. You must have known this. In fact, life is a poop pie underneath the chocolate cover. Have you watched “The Help”? Yes, I laughed my teeth out when Hilly eats Minny’s chocolate poop cake with zeal. You may think that this is only a vengeance for Hilly has treated Minny and others like shiet. But I also believe that Minny wants to educate Hilly as well. The poop pie has been Hilly’s biggest embarrassment and a stain on her dignity. So every time she does something bad, she will be reminded of the cost she might have to pay afterwards. She will learn to fear the fear she fears most. If she doesn’t want to taste poop, (though all of us have been thrown shiet at by Mr. Omnipotent Life at least once) she must know how to behave.

…You see, you cannot survive as a fastidious princess, a faint of heart, a cry baby, or a dogmatic trying to behave within risible self-made rules. You HAVE TO ADAPT. You have to learn how to let go of your negative feelings to concentrate on the positive. Otherwise you will forever be on edge and distracted from your goals in life. A person’s life, to say happy or unhappy, good or mediocre, depends on how he/she plants seeds. If he/she chooses to nurture bad seeds, which can be interpreted as negativisim, greed, evil, etc, his/her life will be affected as a result. Just like Thúy Kiều in The Tale of Kiều written by Vietnamese poet Nguyễn Du who has suffered the most struggling life that a person could imagine also because she chooses to surrender the evil and what she believes as “fate.” Fate decides she has to suffer for her sins in previous life. Well, honey, there may be “fate”, but that fate will never ever be the reason for our giving up, our mistakes and failures. We can be destroyed by fate but never be defeated… DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! I major in Literature, why can’t I learn something from my work?

So little innocent, show me the powerful bitch inside of you. Show me how you defend yourself in front of Life. Life is unpredictably mean. So let’s curse to make him less snobby. Come on! Show me what you’ve got! There are just you and me here. No one will hear us. Let’s bitch up!”


I am standing here, right above them, hovering in the air. Startled. They yell at me. They curse. They explode in anger and indignation. They told me such horrible things that I’d rather die than listening to. But I’ve never felt that fuckin’ happy. They’ve got the shit out of me, who they refer to as “Mr. Omnipotent Life.” Haha, they’ll do just fine.


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